One of our first assignments in the Great Big Dreams e-Seminar is to think about why we decided to take the course. I admit to hating these types of questions. It reminds me of being asked why you chose your particular career (Because it sounded interesting on the skills assessement?) , why you want a certain job position (Because I always wanted to be a …), why you like chocolate ice cream (Because I don’t like rocky road?) or why you want to join a certain organization (I don’t know; it sounds cool? I just like it?).
I saw the question and my gut response was “I have no idea. I don’t know.” And after some thought, I realized that my “I have no idea. I don’t know” response was an easy, default, avoidance response. It keeps me from having to delve deeper and think about why I’m doing this.
Now realistically I know there is some reason for why I’m taking this workshop. I don’t believe it would have appeared on my radar if I wasn’t looking for this type of challenge; this type of self-discovery.
Yet it made me think about how easy it is to say “I don’t know” in response to many questions or how easy it is to just give an answer without really thinking about it.
And it made me think about why I do or want to do some things and not do other things.
I admit to being the type of person who has just moved through life. I never considered myself to have lofty goals (e.g. becoming CEO) and feel I’ve often done what was expected of me (e.g. going to college.) I consider myself an introvert. In new settings it can take me a while to warm up to people. I’m often more of a listener than a speaker.
And now I’m being asked (again) why I want to do something. And therein lies the rub: easy and don’t think.
It is easier to go through life doing what is expected of you or doing what pleases other people, or saying what you think someone wants to hear. You avoid conflict. You avoid confrontation. And then what? Do you lose a little bit of yourself each time? Do you talk yourself down for not standing up?
Compromise is a good place to start; however, you have to think about why you feel a certain way or want to take a certain approach.
It seems that don’t think is the mate to easy. If you choose the easy response, you don’t have to think about justifying yourself (usually). You don’t have to put any effort into your response. You move merrily along. However, sometime later (perhaps sooner than later) you start to wonder why you did that.
So why are you doing what you’re doing?
Now I’m not saying that you have to give thought and justification for every single thing you do in your life. And yes, there are things we do because they are expected of us (such as obeying laws.) Yet when you are pursuing aspects of your life, especially those involving change on some level, it really does require thought. And thinking about that change can be hard because it requires some amount of self-evaluation.
And then there are those times when you want to do things a certain way and it requires compromise. Simply state why you feel a certain way, state the facts (just the facts, try not to get emotional) and put the proverbial ball into the other person’s court. If the situation doesn’t work out in the end at least you know you didn’t just do what was expected or say what someone wanted to hear.
And then there are times when you “just know” you have to do something and you truly don’t know why. You just have to act now and ask permission later, as they say. Sometimes things just feel right.
So why am I taking this seminar? To find clarity and direction. I have many ideas in my head about which direction I want to move next in regards to my business and other life interests. Christine is providing many exercises to help us through our intentions; lots of great ideas and words of wisdom.
So now I know why I’m doing this. Journaling and meditation have helped me reach this conclusion.